No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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