Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
