Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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