Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
