the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
