i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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