I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
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