ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize