She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
