We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
