Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
