Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
