If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize