What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
