i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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