She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Panties = found
Randomize
