Can Purell be used as lube?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
