he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You're like the curious george of whores
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
