Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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