My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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