and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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