Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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