Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
