i was born a porn star she said
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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