i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
