You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
