If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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