90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
