The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
