Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
