Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize