Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize