to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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