I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
