Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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