shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
