her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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