are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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