i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
