We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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