Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
