do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
