We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
