I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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