Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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