don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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