I showed him my bush... on skype.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
