I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
