Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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