You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
