Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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