dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
