Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
