No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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