Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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