Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
