i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
