i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
