i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
