Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
