the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
