she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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