And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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