He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
