There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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