Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
