either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
