is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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