I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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