After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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